Paint More

One of my intentions for 2019 is to paint more. It's one of the things I feel I could have done a lot more in 2018. but didn't. Not that I didn't paint, but I know I could have done a lot more and I could have taken a lot more risks in the way I paint. It's this idea of having to create the perfect painting that seems to be the cause of interruptions in my flow of painting, but at the same time, I know that if I don't paint, I can't get better at it. I recently saw a short video from Gary Vaynerchuk stating that perfectionism is a mask for a lack of confidence. I can relate to that. And at the same time, confidence is built on hours and hours of practice. Consciously I know that subconsciously I'm obviously not there yet, otherwise I wouldn't be so hesitant to paint. My way around it lately has been to create "ugly paintings" in my planners and journals. I don't always show them and keep reminding myself that I don't need to. The goal is just to get into the habit of painting without having to think about it.

Part of me is still trying to find "the perfect topic" for the year in terms of what I should paint and what would look good on Instagram. But I'm also writing this down so that I see how ridiculous it is to think about that rather than just paint and see where it takes me. Most often, the series develop on their own. I have a couple of ideas here and there that don't seem to be connected, but they will probably make more sense after they are painted. 

Above is an example of a painting I started a couple days ago and that's not quite done yet. I'm not sure where it's going but I let it do its thing. It was created during two different sessions. I just filled the pages with colors I was inspired to use during the first session. I seem to have something for gold paint lately. And on the second session, I decided to add more gold to make the shape look more like clouds and a bit of yellow to add more dimension to them. It's not quite done yet, but I'm waiting for another random inspiration to continue this one.

The same goes for writing and blogging more. There's so much I want to share but I hesitate to post because it's not perfect or it's "too late" to write about it because the time has already passed, like my time in Truckee California last year. But I think these are just excuses as well. So I'll make an effort to not only paint more but also blog and write more.